She announced her abortion via fbk
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So apparently I’m into choking now
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