And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
