he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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