I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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