Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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