I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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