I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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