All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
