I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
