Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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