he shaved USA in his pubs
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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