No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
