I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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