Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
