If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
