too bad you live with your parents still
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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