Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
