Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize