problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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