At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
