Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
