i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
