My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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