Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
