Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

Fav 14 5274 1032
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(410): View more from Maryland

i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

Fav 17 4672 1073
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now

Fav 45 1707 8378
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(301): View more from Maryland

not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

Fav 6 2837 1343
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(734): View more from Michigan

They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

Fav 5 2627 1124
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(845): View more from New York

if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

Fav 8 4242 1037
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.

Fav 3 1232 729
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(716): View more from New York

Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.

Fav 1 167 72
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.

Fav 0 4 40
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