So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize