It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
