I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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