sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
