Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
