Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
