Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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