Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
