8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
