I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
