You're so nebulous sometimes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
