I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
