So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
