Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
