addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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