piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
