ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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