another moral hangover. fuck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
