apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
