You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
