Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
