Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize