Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
