we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
