And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize