Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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