I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After last night, I could never be a politician.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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