After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
