i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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