I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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