I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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