With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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