..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
