Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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