oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
