I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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