You're my little dorito
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
