Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
